Sad little story

I'm a terrible blogger. Sometimes I just don't feel up to coming up with an exciting post. Other times, I feel like I don't have one interesting thing to say. I kind of feel that way today. So I'm going to tell everyone a story.

This story is about a boy named N. N. and I met in June 2007 on Craigslist (because I had just learned you can shop for people on there, too) and met for Brazilian food. Sparks flew. We were officially a couple within three days.

N. is a mechanic by day and a musician by night. Nothing even close to the type of person I would fall madly in love with but I did. He had his flaws, some of them very, very big, but I looked past them and saw the person I wanted to marry. This freaked him out a little bit, but he eventually woke up and decided that I, too, was the person he wanted to marry, but there was no official proposal. (I then immediately joined the knot, which is how I came to follow most of your blogs.) We picked a date for me to move into his house, an approximate timeframe for marriage and how many kids would be in our future. I was walking on clouds and couldn't stop smiling. He felt the same way.

In late April of this year, just six weeks before we would be celebrating our two year dating anniversary and two months before I would be moving into his house, we broke up with the understanding that we would be back together in the future. I'll spare you the sordid details of that, but my life literally fell apart. I spent the next month going through the motions without really feeling anything but pain. I almost failed a course and jeopardized my graduation from UT. I wasn't performing well at my job. I cried every single day and went through several periods of not being able to eat for days at a time.

The 26th of this month will mark the five month mark of our breakup. I have been in counseling for close to three months and haven't managed to accomplish much. I feel like my life is still so imcomplete without him.

Not sure what I was hoping for by telling you all of this, other than to let everyone know what is going on in my life. My problems seem so insignificant compared to others', but this is real for me. At the age of 24, this is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and I'm not sure where to go from here.